Project Runway!

Wow! What a show! It took turns I sooo didn’t expect! I couldn’t believe they were going to get to design for themselves! Then the freakin’ trip to Paris! Whoa! And when they picked that jackass Jeffrey as the winner, I couldn’t believe it! Michael looked way better!

Besides, I’m sick of that asshole Jeffrey! I liked him in the beginning, and not Angela. Then Angela showed what a nice person she is, and he showed what a complete asswipe he is! He was sooo belligerent and just plain mean! I just wanted to tell him to shut his stupid piehole!

Then his satisfaction when Angela was out! Ugh! Now, I totally agree with the judges, her outfit was a mess. She couldn’t get hear head around the idea, and it showed. But some kind of weird karma was going on here, and I began to wonder if maybe she and her mom really were trying to get him kicked off, if even subconsciously or simply unspoken.

I love Uli. I think she is very talented, but I was glad to see that they are finally telling her to make something different. Every time, the same flowy dress. Beautiful, but arright already!

WHAT is up with Vincent? I love what he made for Uli’s mom in the last challenge, and agreed that he should’ve won, but tonight’s outfit was BORING. What happened, did Robert change bodies with him? Gad! I did think I would hate his personality, but I ended up liking him, despite his ugly outfits.

I guess they will be doing the next challenge in Paris. I wonder for how long. It can’t be that long, because Michael Kors, Heidi Klum and Nina Garcia are judging in New York. I freakin’ LOVE this show!

Khan!!!!!

A few years ago, when I was living in an apartment complex, I had a little problem with a cat. This cat belonged to one of Seth's friends in the complex. He was named for the character in Star Trek, Khan.

I like to read the paper, and each morning I would look forward to reading it with a hot cup o' joe. One morning I noticed that the paper was wet. Cat pee! Eeeew! I couldn't read my paper that day, and I was pissed, no pun intended. Next morning, wet. Aaaaagh! Come on! The next morning, I open the door and see Khan lazily laying nearby, looking at me. I could tell by the look on his smug cat face! He did it! He was trying to take ownership of me! What the hell can I do about this? Nothin! That's what! Unless. . .

I call up the Sacramento Bee's customer service department. Yeah, hi, uh, I love the Bee and everything you guys are doing is great, but I am having a little problem. The guy says, "What problem, m'am?" A cat has been peeing on my paper every morning, and I don't think he's gonna stop. "What's that, m'am? A cat is peeing on your paper after delivery?" That's right. I have no idea what I'm asking of you guys, here. Do you think you can do anything? The guy thinks a second and says, "We'll try rubber-banding it to your doorknob!" Good man! Yay! I said thank you about a million times.

The next week or so goes by, paper is dry. The rubber banding has been a God-send. But one morning the paper has fallen off the door! Oh my God, no! Maybe he hasn't been by yet, it's pretty early! I pick it up. . . "KHAN!!!!!!!"

What the.......?

It's almost time for Jenn to get here from work, and there's a knock on the door. I was wondering who the heck it could be. Turns out it was this lady with her two daughters in tow, wanting to know if I'm the owner of the orange cat, (my cat Anakin, I forgot to mention him. Oh, and I have a black female cat named Momma). I said yeah, he's my cat. She's all, "You need to keep him in your house! He's been crapping on my lawn furniture!"

Where do these people come from, and why do they find me?

I tell her he's an outdoor cat, not going into how if he lives in our house, Seth and I will die(allergies). She's says, "Well, put him on a leash! Can't you put him on a leash?!" I calmly said no. She said, "Well, if I find him in my yard again, I'm gonna do something to him!" I said, again calmly, no, don't touch my cat. I will call the cops.

She's saying stuff about how it's the law that if I am the cat owner, I am responsible for his actions, blah, blah, blah! She's trying to scare me. I'm not scared because I know full well that there is nothing you can do about outdoor cats who relieve themselves on your stuff(the "Kahn!!! story).

Just then, Jenn comes up, mean-muggin the woman! The lady backs off, and I tell her that I'm sorry Anakin pooped on her furniture, and that I will try to figure something out. As she is walking away, she says that she accepts my apology.

So, my neighbor feels like she did what she came for, and I know that I got her to do exactly what I wanted her to do.....leave me alone.

Now, the kids are all fired up about the lady saying she's going to do something to Anakin and wanting to tell her off, but I know she wont' touch him. She's done. And if she does, I WILL call the cops! And I'M the crazy bitch!?

So what do you watch?

The fall season of tv is coming, and I’m excited! I know that makes me sound so sedimentary, but I love my shows! Right now, I’m watching Miami Ink(TLC). I am seriously thinking about the design for my first tattoo. That show gives me great ideas, and makes me want to go to Miami to get one of them to tattoo me! I really like the tattoo artists on there. I would love to party with them! Tomorrow, Project Runway(Bravo) is on, and it’s a new one. I LOVE Project Runway! Love it love it love it!! It is my favorite summer season show, and it’s halfway over. But here’s what I’m looking forward to:

Desperate Housewives(Ch 10 or 13): these gals are really fun and entertaining! My favorite is Bree, the red-head. She takes care of everything in her life so calmly and swiftly. I love how she keeps her composure, (most of the time). My least favorite is Susan. I just don’t understand why she has so many guys falling all over themselves for her. She so annoyingly ditzy!

Ghost Whisperer(Ch 10 or 13): This one feeds my unending appetite for ghost stories! I am totally fascinated with ghosts and the afterworld. Not death, just what happens afterward. I have always loved the unknown. This show is based on real life psychic, James Van Pragh. I have seen him on many shows that deal with things like ghosts, Big Foot and UFOs. He’s real, and watching this show based on his life, teaches me about more than just ghosts. It’s really great! Check it out!

Ghost Hunter(SCI-FI): Once again, the ghost thing. My family knows. We have had to deal with ghosts in our houses for a long time, and seeing other people deal with the same thing, helps me feel like a not-so-crazy-bitch. I really like the people on this show, too. They seem level-headed and intelligent. These are things you NEED when you are a Ghost Buster.
Well, I can’t seem to summon up anymore fall season shows I am looking forward to. I also watch Reba(CH 58) on Fridays, although I can’t tell you that I am REALLY looking forward to it. Reba is pretty funny. Right after Reba, is What I Like About You(CH 58). This also pretty funny, if you can stomach the sisters.

Another show I watch whenever a new show is released is A Haunting, (Discovery). Even more ghosts! Hour long ghost stories that will make you want to leave your lights on all the time. I also love to watch Little People, Big World, (TLC). This little family isn’t really little. There are a lot of them! They seem to be a wonderful family, and it’s fun to see how a "big" family works! If you haven’t checked out Shalom in the Home,(TLC) or Supernanny(ABC?), you really should! Especially if you have kids, have had kids, or even freakin’ babysit kids! This rabbi and nanny know their stuff!

Well, that’s all I can think of now, if I think of any more, I’ll put them on comments. So, what are YOUR favorite shows, and why, eh?

He's here!


My good friend, Monica, gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Sunday morning! He is named after his dad, Tim. He has a big sister, Autumn, who is five, and just starting kindergarten. She absolutely LOVES her little brother! She has been very helpful to her mom.

Mom Monica is fine, and doing well. She is in need of sleep, but is happy! Little Timmy carried low, and came out with his cord around his neck, but the skilled doctors of Kaiser helped him out, and now he's all good! He's having a little trouble sleeping away from his mom in his basinet, though.

Monica's sister, Megan, is also pregnant! She found out only about a week or two ago. Megan has a daughter named Hailey, who I used to babysit, and is absolutely wonderful!

I am soooo happy for my two sister friends! I wish them all the best!

The End of the Month

I work in a bank that lends money to brokers (aka sellers). They bring us the business, so as you can imagine the end of the month is extremely busy. With all the sellers wanting their loans closed, you might think that they want to make it easier. Oh No! They don't! I get the worst of it, too. I get the conditions. Stuff the seller is supposed to do. Do I get loan numbers? No! How about condition numbers? Nada! It takes more time to look the loans up by SSN. Not a good recipe to get things done. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job. I don't love sellers. Two more days. Wish me luck.

My first blog....

Let me tell you my story. I’m a 36 year old woman with two teenage daughters:( ( more on them later). I have my black Pomeranian named Mini Moon. She is eight years old and very crabby. We also have two cats. The all black Lord Vader and the tuxedo Lil’ Man. Both of them totally fat. I’m a widow, my husband Greg died almost four years ago. He had cancer and was only 33 when he died. I had a boyfriend, but SOMEONE was having troubles. And it wasn’t me. It’s been over for about seven months now. Man, time goes slow....
I work in a bank. It is the best bank ever! I have everything I want!
This is only the beginning.....

The Fire

Yesterday, I was letting my fat dogs run around the field behind Encina High School, when I noticed a big plume of smoke coming from the baseball diamond. I saw two boys walking away, but they seemed oblivious to the smoke, like they didn’t start it. I thought the smoke looked pretty fierce, so I went over to check it out, and it was indeed, two garbage can fires situated directly behind the diamond.
No one was around, so I had to hurry it up to try to get to a phone. I was kicking myself in the ass for not bringing my cell phone. I went to one house directly across the street. The windows and the door were open, but no one came to the screen door. Crap!
So I start running, with my excited, panting dogs, to my street. I came to the first house on the street, where the owners always sit outside and play chess. I asked them if I could use their phone. They said, with deep accents and apologetic eyes, "don’t speak English." That’s ok, I tell them, as best I could. Onwards!
I get to a birthday party I had passed on the way to the field. This is an acquaintance of mine’s house, and a closer friend of mine was there. I asked her if I could use her phone, and I called 911. I took my dogs home, and told my son, Seth and his friend, Josh, who had stayed the night. They followed me back to the field.
I was walking quickly back to the field to help the firefighters find the fires and give my statement. When I got to the people who couldn’t speak English’s house, the fire truck went screaming by. Their eyes were wide, and I pointed to where the truck had gone, and then pointed to myself and put my hand to my ear, like I had a phone. Their eyes got wider.
I am soooo tired and sweaty, (ick!) by this point. I am also soooo glad I have started working out, again, because if I hadn’t been, I think I would’ve gotten a migraine(more on those later.. I’m sure). When I get to the field, the firefighters are just getting out there. I said hello and showed them where the other can was. Josh thought he smelled lighter fluid. I don’t doubt it. They kicked over the cans and proceeded to "pee" on the smoldering piles with water fire extinguishers. No biggy.
So I ask them if they needed anything else from me, thinking I would have to give a formal statement. They said, "Nope, but thanks for calling us!" On my way back, I notice a pile of stuff over next to a tree just a few yards away from one of the fires. On closer look, I realized that a bum was sleeping next to the pile. Since he was out cold, I figured he didn’t light the fires, but if I hadn’t called the fire department, the fires would’ve lit onto the wooden backdrop of the diamond, to the dry grass, to the trees, and then to the sleeping man.
I wasn’t going to work out yesterday, but it seems I did anyway. AND, I think I saved a life! Yay for me! I was a hero for a day!

Last Friday, I was reading The Sacramento Bee’s Scene section, and came across an article written about JonBenet Ramsey. Apparently, the writer feels the press is getting too excited about JonBenet’s case, and would like to see the little girl just rest in peace. Something didn’t sit right with me about that.
I didn’t have to think very long about what was bugging me. The column was saying how there are many, many other children who have been murdered but don’t get media coverage, but because of JonBenet’s pageant background, we are interested in her. This may be true, to a point. But the fact remains that JonBenet, a little girl, was murdered and we don’t know who did it. Her parents have been under that "umbrella of suspicion," and if they didn’t do it, their names should be cleared. This all seems so obvious.
But the writer’s last comment was about how the real mystery here is; why do we still care about who killed her? I couldn’t believe that!
I wrote an email to the writer, explaining that regardless of why she is known world-wide, the fact remains that the whole world knows and cares about JonBenet Ramsey, and if the murderer has been caught, we all want to know. We have all adopted her. She is a child that belongs to the world, and we want to make sure her case is solved SO THAT she CAN rest in peace. She and her mother.
The writer wrote an email back to me saying that we don’t need the appalling, exploitive media coverage on this case. She bemoans the WAY the media has been all over this case. Yes, I guess it would be "nicer" if the tabloids were "nicer," but have they ever been? BIG FAT NO!! The world is interested in finding the bad guy here, and the media knows this, including this writer. Otherwise, she herself, wouldn’t be writing about JonBenet, right?

Hello, everyone!

This is the Crazy Bitch Blog! I have created it because I have a lot to say, and as La Chou, our Modern Day Geisha would say, it is cheaper than therapy, which I am sure I need!

For quite a while now, I have been reading and commenting on "Manuelsview," as cuzin allison. Manuel, his wife Jessica, and their friend, Rich, have inspired me by their wonderful blogs, which are written with great insight, humor, and talent!

I also read and comment on my best friend from childhood's blog, "What do you think?" Marie is a mom, daycare provider, and apartment manager. She is really smart and resourceful. I can always count on her to give me a fresh perspective on things. She has a real joy and appreciation for life that is quite contagious!

As you know, my name is Allison. I am a legal secretary. I am 18 months younger than my sister, Jennifer, who will also be posting. I am 34, going to be 35 in October, and I absolutely HATE getting old! (Jennifer also hates getting old, but I will let her tell you about herself later.) I have one child, a son, named Seth. He has just started high school, (sigh). I have two little Shih-Tzu dogs named Tosche-To(pronounced: Tushi Too) and Princess Yuki(pronounced: Yooki). I dote on them as much as I can. I used to have a husband, but happily, we are divorcing! It really IS a good thing, trust me!

Well, there's my introduction! Hope to hear your comments!