What 9/11 Means to Me

All my life I’ve heard about "the end of the world," and how it’s going to come about, especially in the year 2000. I seriously used to wonder what my future was going to be like. I was afraid of civilization coming to an immediate halt, and having to scrounge a living for myself and my son. I was afraid of nuclear war. But I never dreamed the end of the world would come on September 11, 2001.

I was home with a migraine hangover, and my then-boyfriend, Greg came over and got me up. He said a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I got my hot cup o’ joe and sat down with him to watch the news. I remembered the attack years before on the towers, and was thinking about how they would put that huge fire out, and start renovation all over again. I was even thinking about how later there would be incredible stories of survival to look forward to. Then the next plane hit; right before my eyes.

It still hadn’t sunk in that this was another terrorist attack. I thought something technical, mechanical or freaky had gone wrong with the first plane. But when the second plane hit, I thought to myself, "wait a minute. . ." My blood ran cold. My mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe what a huge terrorist attack this was. I was aching for the people in New York. When they started jumping, I started to cry.

But I didn’t know fear until I heard the news about the third plane that hit the Pentagon. The hair on the back of my neck stood out straight. I knew this meant war. I then went into a bit of a fog. I suppose it was shock, and I can’t remember clearly after that. But I remember being so scared they would hit us, here in Sacramento. I had no idea how many planes were in the air playing the roll of missile, but I sure knew that we are the capital of California.

It seemed my worst fear had started to come into being, and in a way I had never dreamed of. No nuclear weapons, but all those planes that day killed plenty of Americans. No nukes needed. Just plain, simple evil. That’s all it takes. The evil that got into the Al-Qaeda, and taught them, and still teaches them, that doing these evil acts is holy. Nobody was trying to take over the country, they just hate us and wanted to teach us a huge lesson. The lesson was to fear Al-Qaeda. Did we learn that lesson that day? Yes and no.

Yes in that we are all now scrutinized thoroughly in the airports, and indeed in all places. We have learned a great deal in building safety, travel safety and that large buildings can indeed, collapse. We have lost the dangerous complacency that lulled us into a sense of unfailing security.

No in that we are kicking their asses in all the places they hide. We are Americans, and we fight back. The people in United 93 demonstrated that immediately and thoroughly. We just aren’t a country of cowards. We are MADE of courageous, tough people with humongous balls. That’s what is takes to leave your homeland and make a new life in another. It doesn’t matter if you swim a river or take a taxi; you made that move.

So, it wasn’t the end of the world, literally; it was the end of the world as we knew it.

I now watch almost every 9/11 show I see on tv. Sometimes I see a new one and I just have to see it. When I was a kid, my dad used to watch old war movies, and I just didn’t get why. I thought that if he went to war, why would he even want to see any war movie, let alone all of them. Now I understand, Dad. I get it.