Greg and I got married when he was nineteen and I was eighteen. Yes, nineteen and eighteen! I wasn’t pregnant either. I just loved him. I always felt deep down that there wasn’t enough time. I always tried to tell myself that I was just scared. I had Rosemary by the time I was twenty. Seven months later I found out I was going to have Angelia. Dude. Towards the end of my pregnancy, about August, Greg started to not feel too good. He always felt like he had the flu. He wouldn’t go to the doctor because he didn’t have insurance yet. Medi-Cal takes a while to get.
One morning in November, he woke up looking like he had gained twenty pounds. He FINALLY, went to the doctor. The ER is more like it. I called my mom, so she could get Angelia(she was one and a half week old).
Greg and I sat there waiting for the doctor. We looked down the hall, and saw a crowd of doctors heading towards us. We said to each other, "feel sorry for the poor bastard those guys are coming to see." As they were coming around, I said, "Oh, God, Greg. I think they're coming for us". They were. I’m not kidding. . . TWENTY doctors came looking for him.
They told him of the mass in his chest. Did they know what it was? No. They did the biopsy the next day. They found out that the mass was putting pressure on his heart and his windpipe. He could've died just from the windpipe thing. He made it through that night, I think because of all our prayers.
So much happened that week, I still have trouble remembering it all. I remember praying to God to just give me more time. I had two babies, what was I going to do! With treatment, Greg got better and by the time Seth was born, he was Cancer free. He stayed that way for six years. Of course we lived on eggshells never knowing if IT would come back.
IT did, in 1997, right after we moved into the house on Wyda Way. He felt a lump in his armpit. He didn't tell me for a week. We went back to the doctor and found out IT was back. I think deep down we both knew that this was going to be it. They did a stem cell transplant, gave him chemo and radiation. We had to change insurance during this time, too.
I've been to ALL the hospitals here in Sacramento. I have an opinion of all of them (I won't bore you now). For the rest of that time I could see how it was always weighing on him. I always tried to think good and happy thoughts, for the most part. It was hard to keep my feelings from the girls, but we always tried to make things as normal as possible. The last thing we wanted was for them to know how bad things were.
Greg's mom died in 1995 and in the summer of 2000, Greg's dad died. I knew how much he loved his Mom & Dad, they were both gone, and he really took it hard. After that it was like he gave up. The tumor was getting bigger and the doctors kept saying it was scar tissue. Then things were getting too serious for my girls to be around and I decided to move out of the house. I didn't want the girls to see the way their dad's life was going. He was doing things that you should NEVER do. I can't say any more about that.
That last year of his life was VERY hard. He had pneumonia threes times. The third time he died. September 16, 2002 at 1:16pm. I had him in my arms. It was just where we both wanted him to be.
I will always love him. I'm not sure how I live without him.
7 comments:
Beautiful post Jenn. I love you.
Jennifer, this was very nice to read. I know that the two of you were so happy but the sickness was a hard thing to go through. I miss Greg and know that we loved him very much. I love you and the girls!
With college and various other things going on in my life, I feel like I barely saw Greg his last couple of years. I regret that all the time. I loved Greg and he was always so great to me. I don't cry often at all, but I remember the tears at his funeral. It was a hard time. Great post.
The last time I got to see greg, I remember him BBQing some hambergers that wouldnt stop catching on fire. Greg must have used a bucket of water on them. We laughed so hard. I will always miss him.
i just miss him alot
I remember the day he passed away. I was devastated. He fit with our family so well. My family means the world to me and even in spirit he is still a part of our family. I love you cousin Jen and the girls very much.
I know I was not his favorite person. It was clear that he was fiercly loyal to his family. But I just wanted to say that when Allison called Shawn to say this was the end for Greg, Shawn didn't believe her. He knew that Greg was such a fighter he was sure he would get through this "bump" in the road as well. I know Shawn deeply regrets not going to see Greg at the end. He really thought he was going to pull through. I am sorry for your loss.
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