Smoochapooch is gone!

Hey, folks! Long time, no post, eh?

I am just letting everyone know that my old email address, Smoochapooch is gone, and it is replaced by allisoncarlucci. Same provider. Please send me an email, as my address book is gone, too. Thanks!

boxing

So to day I boxed 3 people! Im so happy! Well lately people been bringing boxing gloves and in been boxing. I beat so far all the girls that in boxed! Don’t worrie we only play box sometimes!
lol
love ms rabbit

Raiders

Raiders
Man im a fan of the Raiders . Yep me! I love that team with a passion . They won the other day and im the happiest. So today I was wearing my Raiders shirt and I had ceramics got it dirty! I was so mad! Man. Now I got to wash it !


love miss. Rabbit

This Sucks!

Yeah I’m a Crazy Bitch now.

So my name is Rosie and I’m 16. . . well you guys know me.

Today I went to school for the first time in a week because I was sick with the flu.
So anyways, there is this boy I like named John. I call him "sexy shoes."

So today in P.E. we were playing volleyball and he comes up to me like he was going to kiss me but he doesn’t and walks away. Right then, I look at his neck and there were three big fat hickies! I felt stupid lol!

Then after school we kick it and John kicks it with us, so Angel tells me he has a girl and sadly she’s pretty. Lol! Isn’t that sad? So yeah, this sucks!

Tonight is the Project Runway Finale!!!!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait! I haven't a real clue who will win, but I think maybe Jeffrey! I don't think that he had outside help at all! Unless you want to count his years as a tweek! Even sober now, an old tweek is an old tweek!

I had a hard time liking him at first. He is kinda hard, but I guess we know why, now! His girlfriend and kid look like him! That is so cute!

My favorite lines so far, are Jeffrey and Laura. She has real class, and I was surprised to see that she DIDN'T have a whole lotta plunging necklines! I LOVE her stuff, but maybe that's just because of how freakin' old I am! She has a mature look to her clothes, but I think that's waaaay better than the skimpy clothes made for younger folks these days.

I don't know what happened to Michael. I hate his "urban safari" theme. The stuff I saw, I did not like. (sigh)

Uli is STILL doing the same thing; flowy prints for hot wezzar. Pretty, but done.

So, bring it on!

How I Know I'm Old

Check out these really old pictures, eh? That is my beautiful mother, all by herself. Don't you love the skinny Mexican eyebrows? I always thought my mom was so beautiful, but all the kids think their mom is beautiful, right? But just check out that face! My mom really IS beautiful! I think she could've been a model!

The middle is all of us; Mom, Jenn and I. I'm the one on the right. I don't remember taking this picture, but was it at the Del Amo Mall(sp?) I loved that mall! The didn't just have a carousel, they had other rides! I especially liked the "Busy Bee," ride, but you wouldn't have been able to tell because I used to ride it with all seriousness. My mom wasn't even sure I was having a good time, but I was!

That is my sixth grade picture. I followed fashion even then, but why is it always so embarrassing later? Dang!

Mom gave me these pictures at my dad's/my birthday party. I LOVE old pictures, even if they aren't mine! Enjoy!

Happy F*$# Birthday to me

Sunday was my 35th birthday. Man, I am sooo sick of this! It used to be fun, getting older. It was like, yay, I’m big enough to eat a Big Mac! Yay, 16! I can drive! And, yay 21, I can drink! Now it’s just you getting older and uglier! Why is God doing this to us? Whyyyyy?!

What do I have to look forward to?

It’s scary, watching your life just slip away. It seems that time gets shorter and shorter and you just keep getting pushed closer and closer to the end of the high dive; which of course, is Death. (Yes, I was "Goth," as a teenager, but it was called "Vogue," waaaay back then.)

But then there are days like the other day, where I’m laying there in my bed with an alien trying to pop out of my head, and death is like, an eternity away. How long do I have to put up with this, I ask! What is the purpose of all this crap?

Then I remember the answer to that question that I always tell people. Why do we live and die? Well, with eternal life yawning ahead of us, WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO? So I groan and swing my arm like Napoleon Dynamite, and get on with my boring, painful life as best as I can. Begrudgingly, of course.

No, I don’t have a good outlook on life right now. Good for you if you do. I am venting, and that is why I called myself, "Crazy Bitch," because I know you folks will read this and say to yourselves, "What a crazy bitch!" Was I wrong?

*#@$*!!!

I told you you would hear about my migraines. So I'm bitchin' about them today!

As it is true that my computer is having a problem with adware, I find that I can still do a post. I had to check my email, anyway.

I had a migraine, (a head attack sent directly from Satan), on Tuesday, on the right side of my head. I couldn't go to work because it started as soon as I went into the bathroom to pee. Then I went in to work the next day. I had Thursday off, but then, later that night, I got another one! I bigger one, on the left side of my head! (They always go from one side to the other. The next time I have one, it will be back on the right side.) I went to work today, but I was lucky that the boss was out of the office all day, and the other secretary went home. I was alone with a little work, and my ghost stories that I read online. Thank you, Sweet Jesus!

But then there is now, at the end of the day, when I am exhausted and my head is simply throbbing. I can hear the blood rushing in my own ears. When I was a kid, I used to call it "The Marching Soldiers."

Because of having the attacks so close together, (the side of the head thing), the top of my head is just a hat of pain. I am so aware of the top of my head right now, that I feel like a Sasquach.

Well, I 'm going to stop looking at this lighted screen and go to f*%$*'in' bed!

Allison's computer is down

I just wanted you all to know that Allison's computer is down. I'm doing this from work, so it's a very small post. I got this today.

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY BUT SHOULD: CARDS DON'T SAY My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire.... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H eard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I 've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind. -------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. #################################################### Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. ******************************************************************************** Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I 'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. ===================================================== Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.

So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay

Mind of Mencia

If you haven't seen the "Mind of Mencia," you totally need to! Oh my God, he is FUNNY! As a person who came from a family of Mexican descent, it makes me almost go chee-chee my pantalones! Do yourself a favor, check it out!

(Silence)

"Wow! That was a big break, eh? I was tired! I have been working hard AND working out, and I have been beat! I lost some weight, though!

PROJECT RUNWAY!

Wasn't that GREAT?!!!! I am SOOOO glad they are all going! It's true; they are all very different and very talented! I can't wait to see their shows! I also can't wait to see the show with them all back together, again! That Keith guy is there, and I guess he feels he was conspired against! What a load of crap! That clown just wanted to fool everybody, and laugh with all his evil friends, later. Well, THEY FOUND YOU OUT, FOOL! DEAL WITH IT!

Looks like "Top Chef" is coming back! That's a pretty good show, too! I find that I am really liking the reality tv shows! You know what my son, Seth turned me on to? "The Flavor of Love!" Yep! That's right, "The Flavor of Love," on VH1. Now, that show is ENTERTAINING!! Whooo! Those girls are soo stupid! It's entertaining like "Jerry Springer," is entertaining! It's like, "glad I'm not those people!"

I had to watch Project Runway, last night, but Barbara Walters interviewed Terri Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter's widow, on at the same time. It didn't occur to me to just call my mom and ask her to tape it for me, so I went online quickly, and caught some of it there. Heartbreaking. That poor woman is just heartbroken. My sister and I really feel for her. Did you know their daughter, Bindi, is going to have a show of her own on the Discovery Channel called, "Bindi, the Jungle Girl?" Whoa! Go Irwin spirit! Gonna watch that one!

Well, I gotta go watch "A Haunting," on the Discovery Channel at nine o'clock. "Supernatural," is also on a nine, but my wonderful mother is taping it for me! Thanks, Mom!

My New Commute.....Aaargh!

The bank that I work for moved to the new building this week. It's off of Zinfandel. It's doesn't take that long once I'm on the freeway. It's getting there that's the problemo!

Monday wasn't that bad, I had to be to work at 8:30. I left the house at 7:50, got on the freeway by 8. Good stuff, I thought it might always be like that. Tuesday I had the day off. Wednesday I wanted to go in early, and that was a bad idea. I left at 7:20, I didn't get to the freeway till 7:50. So it didn't matter at all, I got to work on time anywayl. I guess if I need to get there early I'll need to get on Howe.

Everyone is crazy in the morning. People are so aggressive on the freeway. I've never really had to take the freeway. I used to take 160 about five years ago, but that's not really a freeway, more like a very long and fast street. This is something else. It's, hmm. . .HELL!!

Coming home is this same no matter what. I leave work at 5 and get on the freeway and sit there. It's a good thing I have a radio. It keeps me sane. I sing along and step on the gas, step on the brake, etc, etc....AARRGH!! I'm going to have to calm down, I just can't live this way. I can't move out to Rancho Cordova. YECK!!! Maybe I should get some CD's with a soothing effect because I'm going to lose it.

Yar!

Ahoy, there, maties! This be Talk Like a Pirate Day! We be talkin' like pirates at work today! It was buckets 'o fun, it was!

Now, I'm the kinda lass who talks like a pirate even when it's NOT Talk Like a Pirate Day! This day be fun! Aaaaaargh!

My Rescue Fishies!

The other day I was at my friend's house, and noticed that her set of three Beta fishes, (two boys, one girl), were in dire straights. One's water was so low that the top of his dorsal fin dried out. One other had so much poo in it, the water was brown. She has been very, very busy, and hadn't noticed how neglected the fish were.

I think she could tell from the look on my face that I wanted to help them. When I asked if she wanted me to give them some fresh water, she offered them to me. She just didn't have time to care for them, anymore.

So I took home my poor, little fish friends, and gave them fresh, clean bowls and water, right away. I washed the little "rocks" inside their bowls that are really globs of colored glass that are flattened on one side. I then gave them a little food. They are now doing great!

When I come over to them and start telling them that they are good, pretty fishies, and that I love them, they seem to like it. They come right to the surface to see me! Sometimes I'm afraid the bigger male will jump out of the water for a kiss!

But, today after I got my coffee, I noticed that the little female wasn't visable. This was weird because they live in those little, clear, globe bowls in which you can see everything inside. So where was she? I looked closely, and she was stuck under one of her "rocks" and wiggling for her life! In an instant, I saved her. Whew! Silly, widdle fishy!

About 15 minutes later, I got a feeling that I should check on her. I looked, and she was gone AGAIN! At closer inspection, she was REALLY stuck! She was completely underneath a couple "rocks." She was trying to get at some food that fell beneath the "rocks." I saved her yet again, but this time, I took her "rocks" out. She has lost her "rocks" privilege.

When I was accepting them, I was thinking that it's not hard to care for fish. Just don't over-feed them. Well, I guess Beta fish are different!

September 16, 2002

This is my favorite picture of Jenn's husband, Greg. Wasn't he handsome? I printed 8x10s for Seth and the girls and framed them. His sister, Sandy, who was my best girl-friend at the time, took it. It was before Jenn and Greg got married. Before he began to die.

As you can see from my sister's last piece, today is the anniversary of his death. It has been 4 long, short years. In some ways it feels like an eternity that he has been gone. I was used to seeing him every single day. But because of seeing him every single day, it still feels like yesterday that we were hanging out at their house.

He was really my bestest friend. Jenn has always been close because she is my sister, but I never expected her husband to become my very best friend in the world. He and I could talk about anything Jenn and I could, sometimes more. He had a way of making us feel like everything was ok, even though we all new it wasn't.

Greg was dynamic! He was the kind of guy everybody could like and hang out with. He knew SO much stuff! If I wanted to know how something worked, he knew. He was seldom stumped. He was very close to his parents, who were 40 and 50 when he was born, and they taught him how to be an old fashioned man. A good man.

Well, they say only the good die young, and I believe that about Greg, (as well as Steve Irwin). I'm glad that he is done suffering. That was the absolutely worst part of all this, ofcourse, excepting the day he died.

Fours years ago, today, I was called home from work to be with Greg when he died. I was so used to him going to the hospital and coming home, that two days earlier, I promised him that when he got out of the hospital this time, he could come home with me and I would take care of him. I was shocked when I got the call.

From that moment on, it was like walking through fire. Somehow, through the torturing pain, I could feel the calming presence of God. I could "hear" that that day was "special" through the sound of the leaves blowing in the breeze, (I have psychic episodes). It almost felt like the day a baby is born, (Heaven is close by, and the gates are opening). I felt peace and pain. The moment he died, I knew, and I nearly fainted. I'm not sure, but I felt like my soul wanted to go, too.

All this from a brother-in-law? This is what I get a lot when I try to tell people how much Greg meant to me. I guess most folks don't love their in-laws that much, to hang out with them everyday, and truly become brothers and sisters. But this is what Greg was and is to me; my big brother, who will come for me on my "special" day.

In the End

Greg and I got married when he was nineteen and I was eighteen. Yes, nineteen and eighteen! I wasn’t pregnant either. I just loved him. I always felt deep down that there wasn’t enough time. I always tried to tell myself that I was just scared. I had Rosemary by the time I was twenty. Seven months later I found out I was going to have Angelia. Dude.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, about August, Greg started to not feel too good. He always felt like he had the flu. He wouldn’t go to the doctor because he didn’t have insurance yet. Medi-Cal takes a while to get.

One morning in November, he woke up looking like he had gained twenty pounds. He FINALLY, went to the doctor. The ER is more like it. I called my mom, so she could get Angelia(she was one and a half week old).

Greg and I sat there waiting for the doctor. We looked down the hall, and saw a crowd of doctors heading towards us. We said to each other, "feel sorry for the poor bastard those guys are coming to see." As they were coming around, I said, "Oh, God, Greg. I think they're coming for us". They were. I’m not kidding. . . TWENTY doctors came looking for him.

They told him of the mass in his chest. Did they know what it was? No. They did the biopsy the next day. They found out that the mass was putting pressure on his heart and his windpipe. He could've died just from the windpipe thing. He made it through that night, I think because of all our prayers.

So much happened that week, I still have trouble remembering it all. I remember praying to God to just give me more time. I had two babies, what was I going to do! With treatment, Greg got better and by the time Seth was born, he was Cancer free. He stayed that way for six years. Of course we lived on eggshells never knowing if IT would come back.

IT did, in 1997, right after we moved into the house on Wyda Way. He felt a lump in his armpit. He didn't tell me for a week. We went back to the doctor and found out IT was back. I think deep down we both knew that this was going to be it. They did a stem cell transplant, gave him chemo and radiation. We had to change insurance during this time, too.

I've been to ALL the hospitals here in Sacramento. I have an opinion of all of them (I won't bore you now). For the rest of that time I could see how it was always weighing on him. I always tried to think good and happy thoughts, for the most part. It was hard to keep my feelings from the girls, but we always tried to make things as normal as possible. The last thing we wanted was for them to know how bad things were.

Greg's mom died in 1995 and in the summer of 2000, Greg's dad died. I knew how much he loved his Mom & Dad, they were both gone, and he really took it hard. After that it was like he gave up. The tumor was getting bigger and the doctors kept saying it was scar tissue. Then things were getting too serious for my girls to be around and I decided to move out of the house. I didn't want the girls to see the way their dad's life was going. He was doing things that you should NEVER do. I can't say any more about that.

That last year of his life was VERY hard. He had pneumonia threes times. The third time he died. September 16, 2002 at 1:16pm. I had him in my arms. It was just where we both wanted him to be.

I will always love him. I'm not sure how I live without him.

What 9/11 Means to Me

All my life I’ve heard about "the end of the world," and how it’s going to come about, especially in the year 2000. I seriously used to wonder what my future was going to be like. I was afraid of civilization coming to an immediate halt, and having to scrounge a living for myself and my son. I was afraid of nuclear war. But I never dreamed the end of the world would come on September 11, 2001.

I was home with a migraine hangover, and my then-boyfriend, Greg came over and got me up. He said a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I got my hot cup o’ joe and sat down with him to watch the news. I remembered the attack years before on the towers, and was thinking about how they would put that huge fire out, and start renovation all over again. I was even thinking about how later there would be incredible stories of survival to look forward to. Then the next plane hit; right before my eyes.

It still hadn’t sunk in that this was another terrorist attack. I thought something technical, mechanical or freaky had gone wrong with the first plane. But when the second plane hit, I thought to myself, "wait a minute. . ." My blood ran cold. My mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe what a huge terrorist attack this was. I was aching for the people in New York. When they started jumping, I started to cry.

But I didn’t know fear until I heard the news about the third plane that hit the Pentagon. The hair on the back of my neck stood out straight. I knew this meant war. I then went into a bit of a fog. I suppose it was shock, and I can’t remember clearly after that. But I remember being so scared they would hit us, here in Sacramento. I had no idea how many planes were in the air playing the roll of missile, but I sure knew that we are the capital of California.

It seemed my worst fear had started to come into being, and in a way I had never dreamed of. No nuclear weapons, but all those planes that day killed plenty of Americans. No nukes needed. Just plain, simple evil. That’s all it takes. The evil that got into the Al-Qaeda, and taught them, and still teaches them, that doing these evil acts is holy. Nobody was trying to take over the country, they just hate us and wanted to teach us a huge lesson. The lesson was to fear Al-Qaeda. Did we learn that lesson that day? Yes and no.

Yes in that we are all now scrutinized thoroughly in the airports, and indeed in all places. We have learned a great deal in building safety, travel safety and that large buildings can indeed, collapse. We have lost the dangerous complacency that lulled us into a sense of unfailing security.

No in that we are kicking their asses in all the places they hide. We are Americans, and we fight back. The people in United 93 demonstrated that immediately and thoroughly. We just aren’t a country of cowards. We are MADE of courageous, tough people with humongous balls. That’s what is takes to leave your homeland and make a new life in another. It doesn’t matter if you swim a river or take a taxi; you made that move.

So, it wasn’t the end of the world, literally; it was the end of the world as we knew it.

I now watch almost every 9/11 show I see on tv. Sometimes I see a new one and I just have to see it. When I was a kid, my dad used to watch old war movies, and I just didn’t get why. I thought that if he went to war, why would he even want to see any war movie, let alone all of them. Now I understand, Dad. I get it.

Whoa!!

Just thought I'd warn y'all! I had the freakin' flu! It was Horrible! It started with stomach cramps one day, and by the next morning, I'm barfin! The rest is too gross to mention! Just know it was like being lowered into HELL!

So BEWARE!!! School has started, the wind in blowing and the germs and viruses are on the move! So, if you start getting stomach cramps, it's NOT something you ate! And for cryin' out loud, DON'T EAT A LOT!

My Tiny Animals

My little dog, Mini Moon, is very crabby! She's a yapper! She doesn't like it when I leave the apartment. She stands in the window looking at me and barking. Oh yeah! Can you say spoiled? I'm totally guilty. Most people don't even know that I have cats. They actually belong to the girls. You can see Rose with Lil' Man aka sexy kitty. Lil man isn't really little, he is very fat. He meows every time I feed him. Lord Vader belongs to Angel. He LOVES her! He is always laying on her and sleeping on her bed. Every morning, he barges into my room. My door doesn't click closed, so he can just bust in. He jumps on my bed, puts his tiny paws on my shoulder and then rubs his head on my head. I just love my tiny animals. :)

Our Crocodile Hunter

Seth and I are devastated about Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter's death. Just devastated.

Seth has been a fan of The Crocodile Hunter since Steve came onto the scene. I had bought a plastic crocodile for Seth to jump on and wrestle. I learned how to speak in an Australian accent. I even had a crush on him.

As people who know what it's like to lose a father, we are very sad for his family. Terri, Bindi Sue and little Bob were as dear to us as Steve himself. We said a prayer for Steve and his family.

Many times, when I watched him on tv, I would wonder how he was still alive. He got so close to the animals! He really had a set of balls on him! I guess getting too close to the animals is what got him, but he died doing what he loved.

He will really be missed in our household, and indeed by our entire family. MrManuel and Princess M have also written about this very talented, caring and brave man.

Steve Irwin was and is an inspiration. He inspired us to care about the animals; he inspired us to love the "unloveable" creatures, such as crocodiles. He actually made them cute, and petlike, almost. He inspired us to be brave and to not let anything stop us. He showed us what enthusiasm really is. Steve Irwin made a big mark on this world, and in our hearts. We will miss him terribly, and never forget him. He has gone home, but we will be with him again, in time.