Today I am waiting.
Waiting for news on my very best friend's mom, Diane, (above in the picture with Marie's daughter, Mikala). Those of you who read my blog are mostly my family, so you know who my friend Marie is. She was the one who went walking with me when I borrowed newborn Cassie from Nana. We took Cassie in her stroller across the neighborhood to show her to Marie's mom, Diane. We were gone an hour, and when we got back, Nana was sooooo relieved! She didn't know WHAT took us so long.
Diane had been making Cassie laugh. Cassie never cried the whole time.
Marie was in my wedding. She saved the day when she had M&Ms in her boobs to give to my flower girl, Autumn when Autumn was being loud.
I've known Marie since she and I were in 3rd grade. We met in 1980 when we moved here from Corona, CA. She was the first little girl I met when Jenn and I went down to the bus stop. She is the blogger who used to do the, "What Do You Think?" blog.
Marie and I used to play together every summer, but we got really close in junior high. I spent endless summer days and nights there at her house. I became very close to her folks.
Diane became like a second mom to me, and I love her very much.
Last Thursday, January 3, 2008, Diane had a heart attack. Her husband Ron had to do CPR on her. She lived, but has been on a breathing machine for the last week. She had said that she never wanted to be on life support, so today they are taking her off the breathing machine. Ron had to make this decision. He has been just beside himself.
I keep asking in my head, "did she breath on her own?" "Did she die?" It doesn't look good, so it could very well be the latter.
I don't want to disturb Marie right now. I haven't called her. I know what it's like to watch someone die right in front of you. Everyone who was there when Greg died, knows what I'm talking about.
So all I can do is wait. Wait to cry or be elated. Just waiting, with a deep sadness.
I love you, Diane. I always will.